Self-Discipline and Inner Conflict

I feel at times like people just don't get this concept. If you want to change your life...DO IT. If you want to lose weight...stop eating what is making you gain weight and increase the calories your body burns. If you want to fly a plane...take the lessons. If you want 6pack abs then eat properly and burn fat. It's SIMPLE people. Jeepers, it isn't Rocket Science we are talking about. I mean if someone was intent on building a "Time Traveling Machine" I might coach them on looking at a more tangible goal or path but most people are wanting things that are achievable. I mean really...they are ACHIEVABLE.

This is where I get to be "The WHY Guy"; This is my expertise, I get to ask people WHY aren't you getting rich, finding happiness, losing weight, being full-filled and generally living the life you want to live. One of the answers that consistently shows up and rears its ugly head is a lack of self-discipline.

When we ask ourselves the "Big question" - "What is it I want to change in my life" and go through the 7 day process there is no doubt about what change it is that needs to be made and what change is wanting to be made in our lives. The crazy part, is that even though we KNOW what we want to do and we DESIRE that change in our lives, it is our Self-Discipline or lack thereof that puts up this invisible wall in front of us. I say invisible because only you can see it? Or is it only you that sees it? Have you ever been passed over for a promotion? Have you made huge gains in the gym only to see them fade away due to diet challenges? Are you a serial dater who just can't seem to find the right mate? Maybe the wall isn't invisible after all? Maybe the outside world can see our Self-Discipline walls and don't want to make the effort to try and climb over them or break them down to get to us. If the outside world perceives you as an individual with a lack of self-discipline and a lack of resolve to accomplish what you set your mind to, then it only adds to the size of the wall or "Internal Conflict" that you personally are trying to breakthrough.

I firmly believe that our individual success/failure metrics come from our "Internal Conflicts". If you know what you want to do, you have the correct plan laid out, you have the desire, you have the means to make it happen and you still don't succeed... it is your action that is off not your planning. The 80/20 rule applies here. Your mental makeup is perfect. You have identified the problem, worked out solutions, picked the best one and off you go. The problem is that with every step forward you tend to take 2 steps back. Why? What is it that you have done wrong? Simple answer - You have Internal Conflicts. Your actions are inhibited by the conflicts raging within you. They may be so deep inside you that you really don't know what they are or they may be things as simple as your Ego not allowing you to lay yourself out there and fail?

The challenge going forward it this - If you don't IDENTIFY the conflicts within then you're going to continue along the same path as you are going now with all of the various degrees of success and failure you have known for years. There is no simple way or answer of how to achieve this but what I do know, is you have to really look at what you want NOW, what your willing to commit to NOW and what is important to you NOW.

We all want to change the world in one way or another. Where things start to derail for us personally, is when we try to take on too much at a time. When we pile our goals and dreams together and start playing "Jenga" with them. As we all know, that pile of wood blocks ALWAYS comes crashing down. It is for this reason that I think 'The 365 Effect" is another way of helping people break through their walls and reach a higher levels of self-discipline.

The 365 Effect allows you to focus on the Big Question for 365 days. It isn't a great deal of time. It really isn't. All of us over the age of 20 has said at one time or another "Where did that year go". That's just it; A year can fly by quicker than you know it. The 365 Effect allows you to align your life with what it is that you really want to do. The ALIGNMENT of your actions to your commitments, is where the real breakthrough starts to happen. If you can free yourself of the inner conflicts that are preventing you from making the progress you want then the 365's daily process of being self-disciplined and resolved towards changing what you want NOW in your life will be life-changing.

I love this quote from the 30th President of the USA Calvin Coolidge -
"Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent"

Daily persistence, resolved determination and simple, actionable and measurable commitments is the key to success in our lives and making the changes we want to make in our lives.

As always I welcome any comments or thoughts. If you are finding "The 365" interesting pass on a note, make a comment and feel free to pass on this blog on to others. Spread "The 365 Effect".
Reach out to me on twitter @the365effect or via email - the365effect@gmail.com

Backpack Thinking - The Abilty to LET GO

Yesterday was one of those days for me. It was one of those days where I was questioning myself. I won't go into the details but let me just say that it took me hours to "let go" of the negativity of the day. Why? Why did I waste hours and let my workout suffer, my eating habits suffer and I miss out on an opportunity to connect with new people at a dinner party. Why?

These are some of the questions I was asking myself this morning. What did I come up with? It was a huge waste of time to even go back to yesterday. The day has passed? I don't need to let that "blip on my radar" of a day ever impact me again. Gone. Unclip the backpack, take the crap out that doesn't serve me and move on. Simple right - and I am supposed to know this stuff, but there I was getting bogged down in it even if it was only for a measly 5 hours still, what a waste.

Why is it that so many people out there can't seem to get this. Why do we hang on to "stuff" for so long. How can any of us attempt to "carry" around with us all the negativity, chaos, stress, joy, love, fear, dreams and pressures that faces us everyday. Why do we even attempt it? I think it is because no one has ever taught us the skill of letting go. In Don Miguel Ruiz's "The Four Agreements" one of the agreements is "Don't Take Anything Personally" - "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering". Imagine the release you would feel if you lived every action, movement and interaction under this agreement with yourself. Don't take ANYTHING personally! Think of how freeing that is. In general people DON'T go out of their way to make your life difficult. You are the only one who manages to do that. Our ego makes us more important than we really are. Do you think for a second that anyone else really wakes up with the intention of pissing you off or blocking your way to success? No one has the time for that as they barely have time to make themselves miserable let alone go out of their way to try and do it to you. When can you honestly say you woke up in the morning and dedicated your day to going out and pissing everyone off that you came into contact with. Ridiculous right! (Love that - makes me laugh out loud just writing and thinking about it).

You are the only one who can make your life easy or hard - as William Henry would say "You are the master of your fate and the Captain of your soul".

How to "Let Go"! Now that is a good question. I think the first step is putting it into a perspective that you can understand. In the "The 365 Effect" - How to change your life in only 365 days, I introduce readers to my concept of "BACKPACK THINKING". I have been aware of my backpack for 26 years. As a former wilderness guide I continually packed a variety of different backpacks for the variety of different trips that I led or adventured on. The key in packing was ensuring the proper balance of what I needed vs what I wanted in addition to the necessities that just were a requirement of the trip. I always had to ensure that I carried the First Aid Kit, the water purification system, the map, compass etc, but what I could choose, were the extra socks, the reading material, treats, ipod etc. The "Extras" were where my choice came in. In choosing the "extras" I loaded my pack up and with more load, comes more risk. You get tired quicker, the pack becomes unwieldy and harder to carry, it becomes FULL. In my experience you NEVER want to have a full pack. In addition to how heavy it is, a full pack will never allow you to put anything else in it. Those treasures you find along the way, the mementos that give you a lifetime of joy once you bring them home from the adventure and place them in spots of reverence can never happen if there is no room for them.

It sounds almost cliche now since George Clooney's writers used a form of Backpack Thinking in the movie "Up in the Air" but my question to you is "What's in your Backpack". I want you to consider 3 things before you answer:

1. What size is it
2. How full is it
3. When was the last time you took it off

Going back to the start of this post I carried around my "horrible" day for at least 5 hours. I stuffed it into my backpack and wore it to the gym, wore it while I was cooking dinner and wore it while I was talking with my coworkers and family. Why the heck didn't I take it off and empty it sooner or even better why did I choose to put the "stuff" in my pack to begin with.

We all have a backpack. We all stuff things into them. Some of the stuff just like a "First Aid Kit" we need to carry around with us most of the time but the majority of "stuff" that we fill our backpacks with is by our "Choice". We need to make sure that we are choosing to put stuff in our packs that is serving us and our direction in life that we want to go.

Take a quiet moment this weekend to "Take your pack off" and go through it. Even the act of taking off your pack might allow you to walk a little taller, feel a little lighter and breath a little clearer.

As always I welcome any comments and thoughts. If you are finding "The 365" interesting pass me on a note, make a comment and pass on this blog on to others. Spread "The 365 Effect".